Shoving stuff in my Olive Hole
Garlic stuffed olives are both delicious and disgusting. I love them and I hate them. I am indifferent about lettuce. Sorry lettuce, like rice, you are merely a filler. Garlic stuffed olives, however, rile my senses. I love olives. I love garlic. Mix them together and I hate them. And I love them. They are putridly delicious. I am popping one in my mouth right now.
Holes. Why do we have to put stuff into holes? We can't control ourselves. Got to fill the hole with something. We fill pot holes with asphalt. We fill holes in our teeth with fillings. We fill swimming holes with water. Metaphorically speaking, we sometimes fill holes in our lives with alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, anger, etc. Unless we have our lives right, then we fill those holes with family and God. The fine folks at the Mezzetta company filled the holes in these olives with garlic cloves. I wonder how many things these folks have shoved into their olive holes. I wonder if they have ever stuffed bacon into their olive holes. I am certain that someone has. If I could, I would shove pepperoni in my olive hole. I love cake batter, but let's keep that a safe distance from my hole.
When I die, I want to be cremated. I don't want to be placed in a hole in the ground. I want my family to spread my ashes out somewhere they like to visit. That way they can use me as an excuse to go to the beach or wherever to visit me. I don't want to be stuffed into a hole. Unless, they can find an olive big enough. Then they can shove me inside its hole.
Holes. Pro golfers make a lot of money putting their balls into 18 different holes. Lebron James makes a living slam dunking his balls into a hole. Moles live in holes. Shovels make holes and eliminate holes. Charlie wears an adult diaper for dogs because he can't control when stuff comes out of one of his holes.
When I was a kid, my neighbor Jill made up this game called "Giant Mosquitos". If you stepped in a hole, a giant mosquito would swoop in and get you. Danger lurked in those holes. I used to play a game with my kids when they were little called "The Trapping Hole". I would catch them with my legs and squeeze them while they tried to escape. What could be worse than getting eaten by a giant mosquito or being crushed in the trapping hole? I'll tell you, it's having to suffer through the day with a hole in your sock. I need my toe sticking out of the end of a sock like I need another hole in my head.
We are holed up in this apartment for at least two more months. It is a hole unto itself. The dogs have turned the back porch into a shit hole. There is a hole in the fridge where a light bulb should be. There was hole in the trash bag when I took it out. Something dribbled out of that hole and onto the floor. Lucy licked it up.
There is a hole in our existence right now. What will we fill it with? Love. We will fill with God and Love. I may try to shove some bacon and pepperoni in the hole too.
There is a mud hole where we hope to have a new front lawn someday. I drove out to the house today. I stepped in that hole as I checked on the progress. Yep, our yard is a big fat mud hole. Mother nature filled it with water. My wife isn't at home now. That leaves me with another hole in my life. Luckily, this hole will be brief. I will fill the hole she left with a Dominican that I will shove in my cigar hole. I will go and sit on my porch now. The porch that the dogs have turned into a shit hole Over Yonder.
Holes. Why do we have to put stuff into holes? We can't control ourselves. Got to fill the hole with something. We fill pot holes with asphalt. We fill holes in our teeth with fillings. We fill swimming holes with water. Metaphorically speaking, we sometimes fill holes in our lives with alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, anger, etc. Unless we have our lives right, then we fill those holes with family and God. The fine folks at the Mezzetta company filled the holes in these olives with garlic cloves. I wonder how many things these folks have shoved into their olive holes. I wonder if they have ever stuffed bacon into their olive holes. I am certain that someone has. If I could, I would shove pepperoni in my olive hole. I love cake batter, but let's keep that a safe distance from my hole.
When I die, I want to be cremated. I don't want to be placed in a hole in the ground. I want my family to spread my ashes out somewhere they like to visit. That way they can use me as an excuse to go to the beach or wherever to visit me. I don't want to be stuffed into a hole. Unless, they can find an olive big enough. Then they can shove me inside its hole.
Holes. Pro golfers make a lot of money putting their balls into 18 different holes. Lebron James makes a living slam dunking his balls into a hole. Moles live in holes. Shovels make holes and eliminate holes. Charlie wears an adult diaper for dogs because he can't control when stuff comes out of one of his holes.
When I was a kid, my neighbor Jill made up this game called "Giant Mosquitos". If you stepped in a hole, a giant mosquito would swoop in and get you. Danger lurked in those holes. I used to play a game with my kids when they were little called "The Trapping Hole". I would catch them with my legs and squeeze them while they tried to escape. What could be worse than getting eaten by a giant mosquito or being crushed in the trapping hole? I'll tell you, it's having to suffer through the day with a hole in your sock. I need my toe sticking out of the end of a sock like I need another hole in my head.
We are holed up in this apartment for at least two more months. It is a hole unto itself. The dogs have turned the back porch into a shit hole. There is a hole in the fridge where a light bulb should be. There was hole in the trash bag when I took it out. Something dribbled out of that hole and onto the floor. Lucy licked it up.
There is a hole in our existence right now. What will we fill it with? Love. We will fill with God and Love. I may try to shove some bacon and pepperoni in the hole too.
There is a mud hole where we hope to have a new front lawn someday. I drove out to the house today. I stepped in that hole as I checked on the progress. Yep, our yard is a big fat mud hole. Mother nature filled it with water. My wife isn't at home now. That leaves me with another hole in my life. Luckily, this hole will be brief. I will fill the hole she left with a Dominican that I will shove in my cigar hole. I will go and sit on my porch now. The porch that the dogs have turned into a shit hole Over Yonder.
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