"After Melrose Place"
Ever wonder what happened to all of those people that lived in "Melrose Place"? You remember the show in the 1990's, right? The young people. The happiness. The sexiness. The drama. What happened to them? Where did they go? Why did the show end?
I am eating a "Joey bag of Donuts" and washing it down with a Coke Zero. There is a Moe's Southwest Grill right across the street from our current residence. Our current residence is a place that I call "After Melrose Place".
They put a lot of rice in this burrito known as the "Joey Bag of Donuts". I like rice. However, too much rice in a burrito can make you feel like you are being cheated. Let's face it. Rice is basically a filler. It's pretty much tasteless. A bland vehicle to carry brown gravy to your soul. Well in this case, it is a burrito filler that makes the "Joey Bag of Donuts" seem like a large bargain.
Stephanie and I just got back from the pool and I went and picked up Moe's. We have been living here for about a month and a half. Or maybe a hundred years. I don't know, I lose track. My Coke Zero can says "Share a Coke with your Soulmate" I offered Steph a sip. She said "That's OK. I'm good". I sounded like that little kid in that 70's Coke commercial with Mean Joe Greene. "Really you can have it." My soulmate didn't accept my offer and she didn't throw me a Jersey like Mean Joe did in that commercial. My soulmate. I know that Joey will give me heartburn and gas. My heartburn will affect me. The gas will affect my marriage. Damn you Joey. Keep your jersey, Mean Joe.
I have found my purpose at the "After Melrose Place" pool, I am the DJ. I am DJ Mark. I would like to think that it's because I am hip. I'm not. Well, maybe I am. I do have the biggest Bluetooth speaker and I have almost a thousand songs that I purchased on iTunes. These are two facts that I am unsure if I am proud of or ashamed of. (Yes, I am a blogger that just ended a sentence in a preposition. I am DJ Mark. I make my own rules.) People at the pool like DJ Mark. I like DJ Mark. DJ Mark plays what all of the people like.
"After Melrose Place" is a sad place. My family is the only intact family that I know that lives here. Everyone has a story. Most of the stories in "After Melrose Place" include divorce and loneliness. Hidden in the grilled macaroni, the cigarettes, and Aha's "Take on Me" (blaring from my big speaker) is a story of heartbreak, jealousy, and despair. Steph and I have gotten to know a lot of the residents. Their stories are almost all the same. However, their personalities are different. I like these people. They are quick to offer you a beer, grilled macaroni and marital advice. I have conquered marriage. I have not conquered grilled macaroni and a free beer is a free beer.
Moe's just scoops tortilla chips in the bag. Wildly dumping chips straight into the takeout bag. There is a bit of pool decorum that doesn't allow me to wildly dump my playlist into the big speaker. I forgot the band Cake dropped the "F-bomb" in their remake of "I Will Survive". My wife had to explain to a single mother of two that DJ Mark is an idiot and that it won't happen again. It hasn't happened since. "After Melrose Place" drama.
Heather Locklear and Grant Show do not live here. The Hamiltons do. We hear the stories of the residents. We see the pain in the eyes of some. We see content in others. Then there are the ones that put everything in perspective for you. They may have bigger problems than you, but they don't compare situations. They try to lift you up and make you feel better. They grill Macaroni. They offer beer. They cheer for DJ Mark.
"After Melrose Place" doesn't offer up many happy endings. "After Melrose Place" is just a series in syndication. A collection of "reruns" with the same plot. Escape. We are all like Gilligan trying to get off the island. Some are trying to rekindle an old flame with a former spouse. Some are trying to find more time with their children. Some seek a new beginning. Some seek revenge for a wronged past. Some seek redemption from past mistakes. Islands. "Melrose Place" never showed what happened after the passion died between the characters, when the bills piled up, or when middle age made its grand entrance. "After Melrose Place" shows what happened. Good people got hurt. Good people are trying to make the best of it. I like the characters. I am their DJ. I am one of them.
The heartburn is setting in. I make my way onto the porch with the laptop. Dog shit, pee pads, and a damaged styrofoam ice chest greet me. It's humid. The frogs are croaking and the crickets are cricketing or whatever it is that crickets do. The first match breaks, but the second flames to life. My Macanudo tastes fantastic. A tune by Five Finger Death Punch plays from my playlist. DJ Mark would never play this song at the pool. My wife shouldn't have to explain that to a single mother.
Our season of "After Melrose Place" is scheduled to end in November. There is no rice filler in "After Melrose Place". It's all real. We complain about it. However, it is a now a part of us. We will leave a part of us in this place when we leave. We will take a part of this place with us. We will take the part that doesn't include the pee pad porch and dog shit. We will take the memories and friendships of the wonderful characters of "After Melrose Place" with us when we move Over Yonder.
I am eating a "Joey bag of Donuts" and washing it down with a Coke Zero. There is a Moe's Southwest Grill right across the street from our current residence. Our current residence is a place that I call "After Melrose Place".
They put a lot of rice in this burrito known as the "Joey Bag of Donuts". I like rice. However, too much rice in a burrito can make you feel like you are being cheated. Let's face it. Rice is basically a filler. It's pretty much tasteless. A bland vehicle to carry brown gravy to your soul. Well in this case, it is a burrito filler that makes the "Joey Bag of Donuts" seem like a large bargain.
Stephanie and I just got back from the pool and I went and picked up Moe's. We have been living here for about a month and a half. Or maybe a hundred years. I don't know, I lose track. My Coke Zero can says "Share a Coke with your Soulmate" I offered Steph a sip. She said "That's OK. I'm good". I sounded like that little kid in that 70's Coke commercial with Mean Joe Greene. "Really you can have it." My soulmate didn't accept my offer and she didn't throw me a Jersey like Mean Joe did in that commercial. My soulmate. I know that Joey will give me heartburn and gas. My heartburn will affect me. The gas will affect my marriage. Damn you Joey. Keep your jersey, Mean Joe.
I have found my purpose at the "After Melrose Place" pool, I am the DJ. I am DJ Mark. I would like to think that it's because I am hip. I'm not. Well, maybe I am. I do have the biggest Bluetooth speaker and I have almost a thousand songs that I purchased on iTunes. These are two facts that I am unsure if I am proud of or ashamed of. (Yes, I am a blogger that just ended a sentence in a preposition. I am DJ Mark. I make my own rules.) People at the pool like DJ Mark. I like DJ Mark. DJ Mark plays what all of the people like.
"After Melrose Place" is a sad place. My family is the only intact family that I know that lives here. Everyone has a story. Most of the stories in "After Melrose Place" include divorce and loneliness. Hidden in the grilled macaroni, the cigarettes, and Aha's "Take on Me" (blaring from my big speaker) is a story of heartbreak, jealousy, and despair. Steph and I have gotten to know a lot of the residents. Their stories are almost all the same. However, their personalities are different. I like these people. They are quick to offer you a beer, grilled macaroni and marital advice. I have conquered marriage. I have not conquered grilled macaroni and a free beer is a free beer.
Moe's just scoops tortilla chips in the bag. Wildly dumping chips straight into the takeout bag. There is a bit of pool decorum that doesn't allow me to wildly dump my playlist into the big speaker. I forgot the band Cake dropped the "F-bomb" in their remake of "I Will Survive". My wife had to explain to a single mother of two that DJ Mark is an idiot and that it won't happen again. It hasn't happened since. "After Melrose Place" drama.
Heather Locklear and Grant Show do not live here. The Hamiltons do. We hear the stories of the residents. We see the pain in the eyes of some. We see content in others. Then there are the ones that put everything in perspective for you. They may have bigger problems than you, but they don't compare situations. They try to lift you up and make you feel better. They grill Macaroni. They offer beer. They cheer for DJ Mark.
"After Melrose Place" doesn't offer up many happy endings. "After Melrose Place" is just a series in syndication. A collection of "reruns" with the same plot. Escape. We are all like Gilligan trying to get off the island. Some are trying to rekindle an old flame with a former spouse. Some are trying to find more time with their children. Some seek a new beginning. Some seek revenge for a wronged past. Some seek redemption from past mistakes. Islands. "Melrose Place" never showed what happened after the passion died between the characters, when the bills piled up, or when middle age made its grand entrance. "After Melrose Place" shows what happened. Good people got hurt. Good people are trying to make the best of it. I like the characters. I am their DJ. I am one of them.
The heartburn is setting in. I make my way onto the porch with the laptop. Dog shit, pee pads, and a damaged styrofoam ice chest greet me. It's humid. The frogs are croaking and the crickets are cricketing or whatever it is that crickets do. The first match breaks, but the second flames to life. My Macanudo tastes fantastic. A tune by Five Finger Death Punch plays from my playlist. DJ Mark would never play this song at the pool. My wife shouldn't have to explain that to a single mother.
Our season of "After Melrose Place" is scheduled to end in November. There is no rice filler in "After Melrose Place". It's all real. We complain about it. However, it is a now a part of us. We will leave a part of us in this place when we leave. We will take a part of this place with us. We will take the part that doesn't include the pee pad porch and dog shit. We will take the memories and friendships of the wonderful characters of "After Melrose Place" with us when we move Over Yonder.
Comments
Post a Comment