"Fiddle Sticks"
"Fiddle Sticks". Ellie Knippers, my grandmother, used to say that. It was her "go to" when she was frustrated or angry. Lately, I have used a lot of words that probably should have been substituted with "Fiddle Sticks". My wife used to tell me to watch my mouth. However, she has lost her filter lately. In fact, just a few minutes ago she told me that our contractor could shove the house up his... up his...Let your imagination wander. Just know this...She didn't say "Fiddle Sticks".
There is something about my wife saying a bad word that I find sexy. And lately, she has been very sexy. She has used them all. All the bad words. I love my wife and I hate seeing her stress, but it can be sexy. Sexy, but scary.
I consider this blog to be PG, maybe PG-13 at times. Therefore, I will tell you what the last few weeks have been like using Ellie Knipper's "go to" expression.
"We put our house on the market and the Fiddle of a Stick sold so fast that we needed to find a rental house while our new house is being built. However, we couldn't find a short term lease on a Fiddle Sticking single family home. So...sigh...we had to move into this small Fiddle Sticking apartment. I can't enjoy a cigar on the back porch because the dogs have Fiddled all over the place out there. It smells like Stick!
Fate would laugh in our faces. The stupid Jack-Fiddle that did the appraisal on our house Fiddled us. His Fiddling low-ball appraisal caused the contract to fall through. Fiddler. We actually moved out of that Fiddle Sticker when we didn't have to. Talk about Fiddle Sticky. Not to mention that we were giving a Stick ton of money towards our new house. Oh yeah, we were paying a Fiddle Sticking mortgage and rent on this tiny Fiddle Sticker at the same time. Sticks! Fiddle! I dare a Stick to Fiddle with me right now.
So, we had to put the first Fiddle Sticker back on the market and get another buyer. We found one and she made an offer. Well, turns out that her bank's appraiser was a Fiddle Sticking Fiddle Stick too. Hooray for us! That appraiser Fiddle Sticked us over as well. Not as bad as the first Fiddle Sticker, but Fiddle Sticked us over just the same. We lost a Stick load of money.
With all the Fiddle that we have been through, we were just glad to put that Stick behind us.
Just when we thought things couldn't get any Fiddlier, today I discover that the Fiddle Sticker building our house made a mistake on the exterior. That is when my wife lost her Stick and said that he could shove that house up his Fiddle." - The End
That was the Fiddle Sticking Cliffs Notes version of our past few months.
I wish Ellie Knippers was here. I'll admit that she didn't say "Fiddle Sticks" that often. However, she is the only person that I remember saying it. It made an impression on me. I miss her. I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss the way she used to mix water in her cola. I miss her cooking. She made the best chicken and rice.
Yes, I wish Ellie Knippers was here. She wouldn't know how to make the problems of the world go away, but her chicken and rice would make us briefly forget about the stupid Fiddle Sticker building our house Over Yonder.
There is something about my wife saying a bad word that I find sexy. And lately, she has been very sexy. She has used them all. All the bad words. I love my wife and I hate seeing her stress, but it can be sexy. Sexy, but scary.
I consider this blog to be PG, maybe PG-13 at times. Therefore, I will tell you what the last few weeks have been like using Ellie Knipper's "go to" expression.
"We put our house on the market and the Fiddle of a Stick sold so fast that we needed to find a rental house while our new house is being built. However, we couldn't find a short term lease on a Fiddle Sticking single family home. So...sigh...we had to move into this small Fiddle Sticking apartment. I can't enjoy a cigar on the back porch because the dogs have Fiddled all over the place out there. It smells like Stick!
Fate would laugh in our faces. The stupid Jack-Fiddle that did the appraisal on our house Fiddled us. His Fiddling low-ball appraisal caused the contract to fall through. Fiddler. We actually moved out of that Fiddle Sticker when we didn't have to. Talk about Fiddle Sticky. Not to mention that we were giving a Stick ton of money towards our new house. Oh yeah, we were paying a Fiddle Sticking mortgage and rent on this tiny Fiddle Sticker at the same time. Sticks! Fiddle! I dare a Stick to Fiddle with me right now.
So, we had to put the first Fiddle Sticker back on the market and get another buyer. We found one and she made an offer. Well, turns out that her bank's appraiser was a Fiddle Sticking Fiddle Stick too. Hooray for us! That appraiser Fiddle Sticked us over as well. Not as bad as the first Fiddle Sticker, but Fiddle Sticked us over just the same. We lost a Stick load of money.
With all the Fiddle that we have been through, we were just glad to put that Stick behind us.
Just when we thought things couldn't get any Fiddlier, today I discover that the Fiddle Sticker building our house made a mistake on the exterior. That is when my wife lost her Stick and said that he could shove that house up his Fiddle." - The End
That was the Fiddle Sticking Cliffs Notes version of our past few months.
I wish Ellie Knippers was here. I'll admit that she didn't say "Fiddle Sticks" that often. However, she is the only person that I remember saying it. It made an impression on me. I miss her. I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss the way she used to mix water in her cola. I miss her cooking. She made the best chicken and rice.
Yes, I wish Ellie Knippers was here. She wouldn't know how to make the problems of the world go away, but her chicken and rice would make us briefly forget about the stupid Fiddle Sticker building our house Over Yonder.
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